Bad Records Breed Conflict

Few people I encounter are able to focus their minds eye on the plight of another when considering their own course of conduct regarding that person. Empathy, as a standard part of one's interactive arsenal, is rarely seen and not to be expected.

Few people I encounter fairly, accurately, or regularly recall the benefits bestowed upon them by another, when it comes time to hold that other to account (regardless of the subject of the accounting). Their accounting recollection is remarkably one-sided and self-serving. They focus only on what they've given or what costs they've incurred, and what they're owed ... forgetting what they've received. It's only their side of the story that they are concerned with, only their viewpoint that they consider. They naturally resist a genuine effort to observe the whole picture from both sides. Much conflict originates here.

Time passing erodes the quality of memory, and not only distorts what is recalled, but magically creates history recalled that did not actually occur. It is a natural cognitive defense mechanism.

When bestowing benefits upon another always keep a record, a ledger or journal, so that when it comes time to account, history is clear, and memories cannot be selective.

- David Speaker

Copyright 2004 David K. Speaker